27 February, 2007


why whenever I finish a post feel like a little child who just finished a drawing and want to run and show it to the whole world while they are just scratches of dreams inside him.

Mom looks at me and asks “why did you grow up” I look to my self and find no answer.

26 February, 2007

minimum expectation=maximum appreciation

For the second week in a row I find a coworker pulling a chair and sitting beside me and starts talking about how folan let him down big times, and this wasn’t expected from that person and he misjudged him all this time and how right I was when I told him be careful folan isnt a “good person”

All the guys around are almost 30+ and also almost all of them consider themselves experts when it comes to facts of life, women, cars, politics and buying anything.

I just prefer to keep my mouth shut and contribution to minimum for 2 reasons
1- entering a discussion will be too consuming for me
2- they find my opinion a bit unorthodox
So I prefer to keep my peace.

So how do I judge people? It is the little things that matter. Watching people talk, watching them watching other people talk, phone manner, little incidents while driving or in the kitchen and above all how they act when they lose their temper.

Words said in moments of anger or extreme stress are the truest words, those are the words never said, being kept deep inside and erupt like a volcano.

Life taught me to keep my expectation to minimum so I won’t end up disappointed if I was let down or someone didn’t rise to my expectations.

This isnt bullet proof, as small gestures touches me deeply and appreciate it awi fa I end up being a freak or a romantic fool.

Tonight Prayers for mercy and forgiveness go for people involved in midan el remaya accident and for a bigger brother/mentor who had a back surgery and in a critical situation now. Hope anyone reading this would join me.

Final note, really need to finish the exam as it makes me blog a lot

press the candle, hope the link will work

24 February, 2007


Baltaga is agreeing on delivering a take home exam at a specific date, then at the specific date asking for an extension and when the final target date comes agreeing with your peers on a new unadvised date that all will actually deliver on.

20 February, 2007

3rd rock from the sun

I really like the series, lots may find it stupid but those guys are my favorites. Friends are cool, sex and the city is different, Malcolm in the middle is amusing but those are out of this world.

They take simple things in life and explore it more from a different perspective. I laugh then I think. Usually the seen of them sitting on the rough is the epic of the show.

Tomorrow, make it today in a couple of hours Kaman will be back to work, seems they took advantage of me being away for a couple of days and changed few things, hope the change is for the better and hopefully will help us focus more. Not that I have a say in such changes as I am just a foot soldier in the trenches singing wind of changes

Listening to hotel California for the 900 time today. Some dance to remember and some dance to forget. I eat to forget.

Weight update I am very close to the 120 mark and I will do something about it to regain my self again.

19 February, 2007


Why did I find my self in this situation, why did it end up in such a way that one part had to give up everything why a common ground was a far fetched dream? Why had I to choose between her and everything I had, I wish I could. But at that point of time I couldn’t.

Lots of people keep asking me to have my eyes checked because it is reddish; they don’t know it is so cause of holding back tears when she crosses my mind.

Friends keep telling me it will wash away, another will come and sweep me off my feet and she will be a distant memory. How could this be if every one is compared to her, how could I say words meant to her to anyone else.

I hate my self for what I did to her, and hate myself more for not seeing such an end sooner.

song of the day: Garth Brooks "Unanswered Prayers" lyrics

This is me, being pathetic.

18 February, 2007

ناس جيه تعلق مش تعلق

I could never forget a female blogger post about comments she received in her blog, she said that some people are into blogging just to know more gals and hang with them, they are in as she put it to "يعلقوا" and she didn’t mean to comment but to get connected and have a nice time.
Her words echo in my mind every time I post a comment in any female blog, I still have to discover blogging more.

Are blogs just a message in a bottle, a shout in a desert or are they for interacting and exchanging experience or I am just being hyper sensitive. Will be handing my exams soon and less time will be spent online.

Miss web sense at work, it blocked access to blogs and made me concentrate more in what ever I am doing.

اللهم اجعلنا خيراً مما يظنون واغفر لنا ما لا يعلمون

Simply Indispensable

Just the other day a friend asked of the program I cant do without, and my answer was X1, been using it since it was first released as yahoo desktop search then migrating to the full featured X1.

I am not the organized type when it comes to keeping my digital files, currently having round 1000 GB of data since 1996 fa this program came as a lifejacket for me.

All what I have to do when I download anything is making sure I write an indicative name for it and voala X1 can pinpoint it in blink of an eye.

Life isn’t all wine and roses with it, sometimes it freezes but other than that it is just plain indispensable
I have seen. Boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that.

17 February, 2007

The secret

it is in the old law of attraction. well wish the poor guys from hitchhikers guide to the galaxy knew instead of waiting millions of years.

And it is available on line as a documentary and audio book. downloaded the whole bunch, so the
secrete of life, universe and everything will just have to wait till I finish my exams.
Yep exams, this is why I have been actively blogging in the last couple of weeks :-( as a mean of escaping the brutal reality.


dont know yet if i will go for the book or just watch the documentary, better chk my exam first.


Everything beautiful in life starts small,

Except of course kit kat chunky, it started big, just the way I like it

15 February, 2007


The guys at work were talking about this new Fatwa, and as they talked couldn’t help but remembering those two stories that I thought they related to the Fatwa in someway or another

رُوي أنه لحق بني إسرائيل قحط على عهد موسى عليه السلام فاجتمع الناس إليه فقالوا: ياكليم الله، أدع لنا ربك أن يسقينا الغيث فقام معهم، وخرجوا إلى الصحراء وهم سبعون ألفا أو يزيدونفقال موسى عليه السلامإلهي .. أسقنا غيثك وانشر علينا رحمتك وارحمنا بالأطفال الرضع والبهائم الرتع والشيوخ الركعفما زادت السماء إلا تقشعا والشمس إلا حرارهفتعجب موسى عليه السلاموسأل ربه عن ذلك فأوحى الله إليهإن فيكم عبدا يبارزني بالمعاصي منذ أربعين سنه، فناد في الناس حتى يخرج من بين أظهركم فبه منعتكم فقال موسى: إلهي وسيدي أنا عبد ضعيف، وصوتي ضعيف، فأين يبلغ وهم سبعون ألفا أو يزيدون؟؟فأوحى الله إليه: منك النداء ومنا البلاغفقام موسى مناديا: يا أيها العبد العاص، الذي يبارز الله بالمعاصي منذ أربعين سنه أخرج من بين أظهرنا فبك منعنا المطرفنظر العبد العاصي ذات اليمين وذات الشمال فلم ير أحدا خرج منهم فعلم أنه المطلوبفقال في نفسه: إن أنا خرجت من بين هذا الخلق فَضَحتُ نفسي، وإن قعدت معهم منعوا لأجليفأدخل رأسه في ثيابهنادما على فعالهوقال: إلهي وسيدي .. عصيتك أربعين سنه وأمهلتني،وقد أتيتك طائعا فاقبلنيفلم يستتم كلامه حتى ارتفعت سحابه بيضاء فأمطرت كأفواه القربفقال موسى: إلهي وسيدي .. بماذا سقيتنا وما خرج من بين أظهرنا أحد؟فقال: ياموسى ...سقيتكم بالذي منعتكم فقال موسى :إلهي ..أرني هذا العبد الطائع فقال: ياموسى، لم أفضحه وهو يعصيني، أأفضحه وهو يطيعني

أن امرأة من جهينة أتت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، وهي حبلى من الزنا فقالت يا رسول الله أصبت حداً فأقمه علي فدعا الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم وليها فقال: أحسن إليها فإذا وضعت فائتني ففعل فأمر بها نبي الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فشدت عليها ثيابها ثم أمر بها فرجمت ثم صلى عليها فقال له عمر: تصلي عليها يا رسول الله وقد زنت؟.قال: لقد تابت توبة لو قسمت بين سبعين من أهل المدينة لو سعتهم وهل وجدت أفضل من أن جادت بنفسها لله عز وجل... رواه مسلم

Like to share a comment by a fellow co-worker who said such things wont be governed by الاحكام الشرعيه but rather by قوانين الغش التجاري و حمايه المستهلك


Today someone made me feel special by sending a gift. I received it early in the morning that is the morning of Valentines Day.

Wish this gift was from someone special as I always hoped, but rather from Vodafone. It was a calendar though not
very practical but was very special.

It contained my name printed on each of the pictures that represented each month of the year.

I said to myself, ok, they are following the 80/20 rule, a loyalty program and indulging their customers by adding a personal touch. Ultimately trying to differentiate themselves from others in a service centered industry. Especially with the third operator in Egypt raising the bar before even starting its operation.
So I remembered all my marketing lectures and thought about it pragmatically but deep inside for a moment, I felt special.

Ps. When I receive my bill usually I don’t look at the amount due, but rather amount of time spent talking on the phone rather than reading or being in the company of the one I am talking to.

If a call lasts for 90 minutes, wouldn’t it be better to sit someplace nice and quite and talk the issue out????!!!!!!!! but then i wont be that special to Vodafone.

12 February, 2007

The Devil Wears Prada

Andrea: I don’t think I am like that
I couldn’t do what you did to Naigle
I couldn’t do something like that

Miranda: You already did.....................
To Emily

Andrea: That’s not what I..................
No, no, that was difference; I didn’t have a choice …..

Miranda: You chose, u chose to get ahead
You want this life, those choices are necessary

Andrea: What if this isn’t what I want, I mean what if I don’t want to live the way you live

Miranda: Don’t be ridicules
Every body wants this
Everybody wants to be us.

she didnt want to be like them, she knew what she wanted to be and though she had it all she decided to be her self and gave it all up.

been touched by this movie, life isnt about what people think is the best, it is what you think is the best for you and above all have the courage to go after it.

Ps. if any one wants a copy of this film, would be more than happy to send it.

A Thank You

a thanks you for Engy for being the first one who ever read my blog and was nice enough to leave me a comment, actually they were several kaman.

Thank you again, you made my day.

10 February, 2007

a quote from a fellow blogger


"I draw my heart on the street by chalk and sat on the pavement watching cars driving over it distorting its look, every few cars I draw it again. Bit by Bit I stopped redrawing it, I just sat watching it fading away under the wheels of the passing cars stupid thing to do but not as stupid as giving my heart to you."


i cant finds words to comment, but it reminds me never to give up my 2anfada policy, cause whenever i do that either me or someone i care deeply about ends up being hurt badly

09 February, 2007


Just the other night I was watching blood diamond. Didn’t want to think a lot about the plot line itself and the black man/white man relation and all this stuff. I just thought about diamonds. The source of all that evil.

Why do people get diamonds for their loved ones?

Think because it is expensive and thus making a statement regarding the personal wealth of a guy/gal

It is scarce; cartels ensure it remains so bardo

Time doesn’t change them and they last for ever

Unlike gold which some find to be “my country” i.e. balady diamonds are classy.

For me, diamonds are the closest thing to stars (you know the shiny things u see up in the sky in dark nights) so metaphorically speaking you are reaching for the skies to get a star and give it to someone you cherish the most.

Hopefully one day I can afford a nice one, and I will do my best to make sure it isn’t conflict diamond or better said blood diamond.

A diamond is just a fancy rock. A loving husband is a jewel beyond compare.

08 February, 2007


mmmmmm galaxy with fruit and nuts
kitkat chunky
cadboury dairy milk
samba 2a7mar
friday's orio madness
chillis paradise pie
apple pie with vanilla ice cream toppings
feteer dahab ( a local fatatry in alex, just in front of sporting club tram station a must taste)
chocolate cakes
ice cream ( all chocolate and nuts flavours and off course the devine plaine vanilla )
hot chocolate
DARK chocolate ( for the strong hearted )
pop corn with the right amount of salt

115kgs 179 cm :-(((

let it rain, let it rain, let it rain

"I love walking in the rain, cause then no-one knows im crying"

06 February, 2007

Valantine Day

She once asked me why you never celebrated valentine, my answer was always, when we get married insha2 ALLAH we will have our own valentine. The date will be the first time we meet or the first time I proposed. It will be filled with expensive chocolate lots of red hearts and roses and it will be our own valentine Kaman.

Now, she is gone, things didn’t work out as we prayed and when ever February comes I remember my own valentine plans.

I envy married people who celebrate their own valentine day, the kids in the street with red roses and teddies their emotions may be sincere at this point of time but it will almost usually wash away. But they remind other of how special having someone in your life is and those who lost love along the path of life to regain it.

I am being cruel but hope I am being fair.

04 February, 2007

Does Heaven have a phone number?

Mommy went to Heaven, but I need her here today,

My tummy hurts and I fell down, I need her right away,

I really need your help, operater to find her in this book?

Is heaven in the yellow part, I don't know where to look.

I think my daddy needs her too, at night I hear him cry.

I hear him call her name sometimes, but I really don't know why.

Maybe if I call her, she will hurry home to me.

Is Heaven very far away, is it across the sea?

She's been gone a long, long time she needs to come home now!

I really need to reach her, but I simply don't know how.

Help me find the number please, is it listed under Heaven?

I can't read these big big words, I am only seven.

I'm sorry operator, I didn't mean to make you cry,

Is your tummy hurting too, or is there something in your eye?

If I call my church maybe they will know.

Mommy said when we need help that's where we should go.

I found the number to my church tacked up on the wall.

Thank you operator, I'll give them a call.

02 February, 2007

Nick names my frieds call me

Boo7a-el me3alem boo7a-boo7a el neten

it started by pooh the comic character in walt disney cartoon comics, the booha movie was released and became booha pooh, then they lost the pooh and became just booha

7amido-el mae3alem 7amido
7amido was a poor boy who used to work in a poor district selling belila, then rabena fatah 3aleeh and went to work with el khawagat. the true story is i used to work in a department people used to look down to and went to another department people wowed

my old nick name in the family, and it is never used now

only one dear friend of mine call me this

a person who loved me despite being a ba2ara (cow) in her eyes

other varients include: mo7a, ma7ami7o, mee7

01 February, 2007

A things I HATE

i really hate people who judge others by the mobile phone they are carrying, car they are driving, watches and suites they are wearing.

why should i judge a person differently if i see him carrying a nokia 1100 rather than an N 94, does this makes him a lesser person???!!!

just the other day, sis told me i should get a car that suites me and my position better!!!!!!!!! I drive a 128, it isn't mine even, it is mom's i asked her what car suites me and my position she just said a better car.

i know friends who prefer buying Rolex counterfeits watches than any other brand, go into debt to get the latest Toyota or Opel rather than driving a lesser car and being debt free.

don't think i want to start talking about marriage situations where the groom is judged by his apartment or car............ etc, rather than his true traits and his ability to care and provide.

really my heart bleeds. i pray God to see the true hearts of people and never get fooled or carried away behind appearences.