29 July, 2007


Still at work, don’t know y the firewall suddenly allowed blogger, is it a trap, but will be taking my chances.

For tonight just prayers.

For X who his child is autistic and showed no level of improvement after a year of traditional treatment

For X to find peace of mind and heart, today was his birthday

For X to return safely from omra with his family.

For X who have a mosiba at work, may the trust he gave to be in its right place

When anyone goes to omra or hij and ask me what do u want us to get, I tell them just pray for me ربنا يكفيني شر الفضيحه I never wanted anything more.

As for me I pray I c what is right and yekfeni shar el fedi7a.

Ps. For all those who I missed their birthdays, been a while since I last mailed or who chk my blog and find it stale. I am sorry

21 July, 2007

beautiful prayer

Sometime ago a man I don’t know and I don’t even remember how he looked like we talked for less than 5 min and he thanked me and when he was going he said

روح يا بني. ربنا يكفيك شر مهنتك
Was the most beautiful prayer I ever heard and in the most unlikely place.


A child died. It is Allah will. I can never think of a prayer for a little child, but prayers go to his parents may Allah give them strength and
يعوضهم بالخلف الصالح و يجعله شفيع ليهم يوم القيامه

اللهم اجعله ذخرا لوالديه وفرطا وشفيعا مجابا ، اللهم أعظم به أجورهما وثقل به موازينهما وألحقه بصالح سلف المؤمنين ، واجعله في كفالة إبراهيم عليه الصلاة والسلام وقه برحمتك عذاب الجحيم

15 July, 2007

note to self


mabroooook, mabrooooooooook

She was an old online friend from the good old days before mobile phones, webcams, ICQ was still an infant and 99.9% of the net users spoke good English.

She crossed my mind a lot today, don’t know why. I pray for her when she crosses my mind. to spare u all the details while she was engaged she developed breast cancer. Went through the hell of chemotherapy fear of imputation and other fears she had deep inside, her mom died of cancer and her father also died of cancer but this was just after her marriage.

Thank God she was cured from cancer and didn’t need the imputation procedure only a small operation to remove traces of the tumor and the wedding though a bit delayed but she got married and thank God bardo I didn’t rush into writing her an e-mail or calling her to c how she is doing today.

When I arrived home and checked my facebook I found her on it, don’t know how, but she was among my friends and a picture of a very sweet young baby in it. Very happy for her and this was the best thing I came across in ages.

Worried about her cause mom told me zaman when I talked to her about her condition that pregnancy and all the hormonal changes that accompanies it my trigger cancer again.

Prayers goes for her may she has a wonderful life, may her son grow up to be strong and kind and she guide him through every stage of his life.

And a thank you for facebook, whether it is an affiliate of the CIA, NSA or 2amn el dawla.

10 July, 2007


Seen 1

Driving a car, suddenly notice an old man who fell and laying down between a parked car and the pavement, no one seems to be around to help him out and he started to wave desperately.

Driver Stops the car, take the mobile and go help this poor man out, another 2 young men show up form nowhere helping the old man up and car driver join in,

The old man is up and getting a grip on himself. For a second he starts crying but he stopped himself. Driver insists on driving him where he wants to go but the old man insists with a gentle no. brushing the dust and leaves of his trousers saying el hamdu lel ALLAH to him he continue on his way.

Seen 2

An old man 65+ with his wife also an old lady, doing Tawaf in Maka, the old man faints cause of the heat, his wife beside him cant even call anyone from the surprise. Spraying water on him and medics come carry him away on a stretch. Wife puzzled accompanies him. Not a word spoken, nationality unknown but a fellow Muslim, a fellow human.

Seen 3

An old man in the cinema, couldn’t continue the movie decides to leave, stand up, starts coming down the stairs in pitch black darkness, he stumbles hard every other step and no one cares to lend him a hand and help him down the stairs.

اللهم متعنا بابصارنا واسماعنا وقواتنا مااحييتنا اللهم عوض اخوننا خيرا في الجنه ان شاء الله اللهم انفعهم بمايسرت لهم

07 July, 2007


Didn’t like it. May be I was setting my hopes too high and expected to laugh my heart out. But no, wasn’t good actually a disappointment. And most people didn’t laugh either.

Just really down.

more to follow

05 July, 2007


It is a small animal, very soft from the inside when left alone it enjoys its self, fooling around on its own speed but when intimidated, spines just pop from the it and it doesn’t differentiate if the coming action is an act of kindness or hostility.

Just rolls over it selves, just a ball of spines and may roll it self away from the area its in till it feels it is safe to come out again.

I am like that, She was like that and some people I know are like that. Any approach would be considered a threat till trust is established but even then the spines will always be under ones skin ready to pop out at any feeling of insecurities.

I have seen people who let their guards down and let people into this soft place and ended up hurt so much and spines didn’t work as they only point out :-((.

Damn the people who betray trust given to them by others, damn them for eternity.

01 July, 2007

Happy Birthday to Her

Today is Her birthday, for the first time I didn’t get her something special, I didn’t get her anything at all. Usually I tried my best to be with her on birthdays, it used to hurt awi when her friends celebrated and hugged and kissed her and I didn’t get any I told my self it doesn’t matter, a time will come when I truly can call her mine and have our own celebration.

I search inside me now to find this hope, this dream it is still their and alive but in complete darkness.

How could I get over her if she is in every dream I ever had wel mosiba I cant remember how life was before she came into it.

The picture is for roses; I always wanted to get her roses but never did as it was one of the postponed dreams. i would chose the semi opened ones.

Help Needed

i am actively searching for a furnished flat in maadi or as near as possible to giza zoo, dont know if they have the "studio" concept in maadi or not.

would really appreciate any help, advice or spreading the word out.